It’s really quiet. I can hear the house shaking when the wind hits the side of the window. I’ve been laying here trying to sleep for about an hour now, but the nausea is taking over and soon I fear I will lose control. Im trying to talk my body into getting better and thinking happy thoughts, but I don’t think it’s working. The bottle of medicine on my night stand is almost empty and I don’t think I have the courage to ask my husband for more money to refill the prescription. I’ve been out of work due to my pregnancy for about four months now and it’s getting harder to look into his eyes and ask for anymore. He is working so hard while I just lay here. What is wrong with me? Why can’t my body do what it’s naturally supposed to do: make a baby.

This is for the woman who is sitting in her bed with her hands over her face wanting to give up. If no one has told you that you are loved today, I love you. You ARE strong. You DO matter.


• 164 Hospital/Doctors visits
• 174 I.V Hydration’s
• 15 Doctors with no cure
• 7 Medication trials


If you are a woman who has encountered the horror’s of this pregnancy condition, I am sure you can relate to my next few words… WHERE IS THE GLOW?

This is for the woman who is sitting in her bed with her hands over her face wanting to give up. If no one has told you that you are loved today, I love you. You ARE strong. You DO matter.

• 164 Hospital/Doctors visits
• 174 I.V Hydration’s
• 15 Doctors with no cure
• 7 Medication trials


I am laying in my bed holding this beautiful, soft, warm thing that I tried so hard to create. 8.5 months of absolute hell, and it was all worth it. I can’t help but to look down at her beautiful face and reminisce on all that I have gone through to bring her into this world. From countless emergency room visits to the joys of labor contractions. I would not change a single thing. I get to look at my baby girl and hear her breath in my arms as she drifts into sleep.

When you look at your journey and you feel sort of empty and sad about it.. but you must maintain some sort of happiness as well, because you know at the end of this road you will be bringing such an amazing, beautiful baby into the world.

I don’t want to hear that this is due to the intense amount of hormones swimming around my entire body. I want to be heard. I want someone to tell me that they are sorry that I’m going through this and that they can’t imagine how it feels. Instead I have the constant flow of people telling me everything they think is right and what could possibly cure me. You’re all wrong. This can’t be cured. You can’t fix me. I’m sick and no one can help.

You JUST found out you were pregnant! Can you survive without working? What about money? Can’t you just eat crackers in the morning and feel fine?

These are some of the questions I have been asked in the recent weeks since I put in my two week notice at a job I only worked at for 8 months. Was I scared? Absolutely! But do I have faith? That’s for sure!

I recently started experiencing the oh so awesome pregnancy perks.. morning sickness galore! This makes it nearly impossible for me to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face with a deep feeling of nausea as soon as my eyes open. I do however have the amazing opportunity to put on a fake smile for my now five year old munchkin to wake him up for his daily dose of school. For him, smiles are endless! After that is all accomplished, the nausea kicks in high speed. I get the daily advice from women and men who think they know my daily pain. Not that it’s not appreciated, because believe me when I say this… I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING. Wow, that was hard to admit. I do love hearing the advice, however what I do not like hearing are the constant crackers and juice remedies that only work for my five year old’s tummy. This little monster inside of me definitely doesn’t like the old wives tales and constant juice drinking.