You heard it here first. Grab you Husbands, Mothers, Brothers, Sisters and Cousins because you’re going to want your whole family to read this!
I started this blog in hopes that not just the women suffering from HG would gain some support, but their family and friends would as well. I asked advice on a Facebook Hyperemesis Gravidarum group and was completely stricken by the amount of feedback I received. 450+ comments and counting. You ladies had a lot to say!
So, here it is, in full sass commentary. Your own personal guide on how to not piss off your pregnant HG mama. You’re welcome in advance!
1. “Try crackers in bed even before you get up in the morning” or “Have you tried Ginger?”
Please don’t cracker and ginger me. Never in the existence of crackers have I ever heard that it has saved a life. We’re talking about flour and salt here folks… let that sink in. Ginger most definitely has benefits for aiding an upset stomach, but can I be frank with you? It wasn’t an upset stomach I had. It was the constant feeling of slowly deteriorating in front of my families eyes and thousands of fluid hydrations that upset my stomach. Good luck with that advice!
2. “Try a nice warm bath!”
A warm bath? You have got to be kidding me. Will the warm water somehow become miracle water and cure my high risk condition? I don’t think so sweetie!
3. “You knew what you were getting yourself into when you had another baby..”
In all things good and right in the world, why oh why is this my fault? Did I really know that this was going to happen again? Next time I should definitely have a serious one on one conversation with my body and hopefully that will do the trick.
4. “Maybe it’s just anxiety, you should definitely see a therapist.”
Oh how I wish that a therapist could fix me. Ironic how the medical professional has yet to find the magic medicine, yet a therapist would most definitely do the trick! How about that!
5. “I had morning sickness too when I was pregnant, I know how you feel honey!”
STAND BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I feel a pack-a-punch unraveling. Please continue to tell me how your morning sickness has any comparison to the pregnancy condition that is risking my life. Please continue.. I’m listening….
6. “You should drink some water so you don’t get dehydrated” or “Make sure you stay hydrated” and the grand finale: “Just take small sips!”
Can you please look down at my scars on my arm and hands and repeat that one more time. Oh wait, maybe you can tell me that again while I am LITERALLY hooked up to an I.V. bag!
7. “Think positive thoughts” or “I think it’s all in your head”
Let’s just skip this one because we all know how horrible that sounds.
8. “It will all be worth it in the end”
Thank you for stating the obvious. As if I haven’t shown my efforts in letting it be known that I am being tortured by my own body on a daily basis only for creating mother nature’s best offering. I have a constant reminder with every breathe that I breath and in every second that passes by.
9. “I guess your body just wasn’t meant to handle pregnancy.”
Thank you for stripping my woman-hood one word at a time with that sentence. As if I didn’t feel horrible enough about my body.
10. “Aww I thought you were doing better. You weren’t sick yesterday!”
Let’s be real. Yesterday I was quietly trying to avoid at all costs the feeling of being sick and my body hurt the entire time from the day before when I was hunched over for hours seeing stars as I lifted my body off of the floor after each dry heaving episode. This was the first day in weeks that I have eaten and now I am all of a sudden healed?
11. “You’ve lost 40 pounds?? That sounds like my kind of diet plan! I want to get pregnant too!”
Your joke isn’t funny. I haven’t been able to hold food or water down in 3 weeks and counting and the appropriate response to my pain is assuming that I wanted this?
12. My all-time favorite: “It’s okay, your body can last weeks without any food or fluids. It’s a good thing you have a little fat on you so your body can eat off that in the meantime”
There are just no words. Maybe one: HURT.
13. “Is that medicine your taking safe for the baby?” or “I would never take medication while pregnant, but that’s just me.”
This medicine is helping to save not just my life, but my babies as well. In a perfect world, there would be a magic wand and if you waved it over me I would be cured. Let’s stop talking fantasies folks.
14. "You have the same pregnancy condition that Princess Kate had! You must be royal!"
There is nothing royal or extravagant about this illness. There are woman that are dying and losing their babies from this. There are women being pressured to abort there miracles because of their hardships.
15. "Can you throw up a little quieter"
In the many emergency room trips, this comment was quite popular. If only they knew how hurtful it was to hear.
Please be courteous. I cannot describe the amount of tears I shed from hearing comments like the ones described above. I hope even one person gets something out of this. I am praying for each and every one of you beautiful women! The fight is rough, but there i light at the end of the tunnel!