When I feel helpless

When you look at your journey and you feel sort of empty and sad about it.. but you must maintain some sort of happiness as well, because you know at the end of this road you will be bringing such an amazing, beautiful baby into the world.

I don’t want to hear that this is due to the intense amount of hormones swimming around my entire body. I want to be heard. I want someone to tell me that they are sorry that I’m going through this and that they can’t imagine how it feels. Instead I have the constant flow of people telling me everything they think is right and what could possibly cure me. You’re all wrong. This can’t be cured. You can’t fix me. I’m sick and no one can help.

Can you imagine what it feels like to sit in a room, stare at a wall, and attempt to talk your body out of destroying itself? I do. It’s dark. Sometimes when the light peaks through the curtains it burns your eyes, but you want to feel something, anything. What is the weather like? Was it raining today? I’m not so sure because I haven’t been outside in over a week. My day consists of laying in this bed. Something I feel like is eternity. Could this be what it feels like to slowly die? I have so many questions for you, but I know you’re tired. Can someone help me? I feel sick, I know that’s not a surprise but I’m hurting.